Specks of Life

So much has happened since my last post, it's hard to believe that it's only been about a week!  We saw the doctor again on Tuesday the 12th where we were told that I had plenty of mature follicles.  Due to the size of my ovaries and the number of follices the doctor decided to have my estrogen level checked, which came back higher than what they would like.  These were all red flags that I could have some form of OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome).  In some extreme cases of OHSS hospitalization can be required so they wanted to watch me closely over the next little while.  They sent us home and instructed us to do our HCG trigger shot that night promptly at 8pm, which I was deathly afraid of because it's done in the back.  This shot would stimulate the follicles for ovulation.  Luckily we have a great friend who was more than willing to come over and do the shot for us! They also gave us instructions to help reduce symptoms of OHSS: lots of rest, drink tons of Gatorade for the electrolytes, and weigh myself each morning as I should not gain more than 2 lbs from day to day, watch for difficulty breathing and blood clots.  Seriously??  They also let us know that we would be coming back to the clinic on Thursday for the egg retrieval.  So exciting!

Fast forward to Thursday, I was scared and nervous for this appointment, even though I had heard that the retrieval was a fairly easy procedure.  I was put under anesthesia for the process, and I was nervous because Jeff would not be allowed in the room since it's considered an operation.  Once I came out of recovery, we were shocked to learn that they were able to retrieve 27 eggs, when we were told that the average number is 6 - another indication of OHSS.  I do regret not being more prepared for what would come post-procedure, and not researching it more beforehand.  While the operation itself was not painful at all, it was the aftermath that I was not prepared for.  I wasn't warned about how bloated you would feel for about a week after the procedure.  It can be pretty painful.  I looked pregnant even though I wasn't (someone's idea of a cruel joke). I felt like I was on a roller coaster, one day I would feel on the ups, and the next I was weak and nauseous and couldn't get out of bed.  Some of the symptoms I was having were completely normal, while some could be contributed to the mild case of OHSS that I had.  Needless to say, I have spent most of the last week laying in bed trying to get my strength back.  I have really missed being able to go out in the warm weather with my kids this past week, being able to help them with homework, and just being able to do things to keep up around the house.  I know it is temporary and will hopefully pass soon, and thankfully I have a wonderful husband who has been so great to step up and do all of these things for me.

When we left the retrieval appointment we were told that we would get a call on Saturday from the embryologist to let us know how many of the eggs fertilized and how they were looking.  We couldn't wait to get this phone call!  We were so pleased to hear that of the 27 eggs they retrieved 21 were mature and all 21 had been fertilized.  For a couple having such a hard time conceiving, this seemed amazing to us!  From that point, the embryologist let us know that we were scheduled to have our transfer done on the following Tuesday.

Which brings us to today.  We were so excited and scared going into our appointment today.  For one, we still weren't positive they would do the transfer because of the OHSS.  And if the transfer didn't happen today, they would freeze as many of the embryos as they could, and we would have to start over again in a couple of months using the frozen embryos.  Sitting in the chair waiting for the doctor to come in took forever!  When he finally came into our room he explained to us that they had 13 embryos that had fertilized and divided beautifully to the blastocyst stage.  There were also 6 possible embryos that may get to that stage overnight, which we can end up freezing if we choose along with the other embryos that we would not use right now.  They gave us a picture of the 2 embryos that looked the best and asked us how many we had decided to transfer.  Before we could do the transfer though, the doctor did an ultrasound which showed that my ovaries are still pretty large, which is normal, and that there is some fluid in the ovaries, which contributes to the bloating, also normal.  The doctor informed us that if we proceed with the transfer and do become pregnant, there is a small chance that the OHSS symptoms can become worse...I believe his words were "It will be the worst 3 weeks of your life."  Very comforting.  But the chances of success are slightly greater when you are dealing with a fresh embryo as opposed to a frozen one.  So after discussing the pros and cons with Jeff, we decided to go ahead with the transfer, and we did transfer the 2 best looking embryos.  I remember lying in the chair watching the embryos being put into the catheter up on the screen and thinking "Oh my God, these are my babies. They are living, and they are ours."  It was an amazing experience to see something so new to creation, so vulnerable, so fragile, and at that moment I could not help but feel an instant attachment to these little specks of life that they were passing into my body.  I was speechless.

And now we play the waiting game.  I am on bed rest for at least 2-3 days, and then we go back on Easter to take our pregnancy test and see if this will have all been worth it.  We can't help but be hopeful and optimistic.